Hopeless – by Colleen Hoover

“Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies…

That’s what seventeen-year-old Sky realizes after she meets Dean Holder. A guy with a reputation that rivals her own and an uncanny ability to invoke feelings in her she’s never had before. He terrifies her and captivates her all in the span of one encounter, and something about the way he makes her feel sparks buried memories from a past she wishes could just stay buried.

Sky struggles to keep him at a distance knowing he’s nothing but trouble, but Holder insists on learning everything about her. After finally caving to his unwavering pursuit, Sky soon finds that Holder isn’t at all who he’s been claiming to be. When the secrets he’s been keeping are finally revealed, every single facet of Sky’s life will change forever.”
(Hopeless – Colleen Hoover)

Hopeless is one of the best books that I’ve read so far.
It was written by Colleen Hoover (https://www.colleenhoover.com/), and it tells the story of Sky, a seventeen-year-old girl that meets Holder, a mysterious and handsome boy with a troubled and painful past.
The story focuses on their relationship, and it’s incredible to see how they get to know each other.
Sky ends up discovering secrets about her own past, and they couldn’t be scarier.
It’s a lovely romance that made me laugh, cry and get angry.
Now, I can’t wait to read Losing Hope, which tells Holder‘s story.
Even though he’s completely messed up, I fell in love with him. I fell in love with how he treats Sky, how it’s clear that he’s fighting to not give in to her love.
I definitely recommend both books. Even though I haven’t read Losing Hope yet, I’m sure that I’m going to love it!

Let me know which book is your favourite, and why! 😉

Have a great Sunday!

Rosanna M.I.

Wattpad Stories and The Flower and The Suit’s Sequel

Hey, Everyone!

So I decided to update you about what’s going on with me right now and the main reason for my absence at the blog.

I’m happy to say that I’ve been working non stop for the last couple of weeks. I’m writing two new novels and the sequel to The Flower and The Suit, and I’m working on them every single night.

That’s right! 🙂

I’m publishing To Hate and To Love and Caught Between Our Worlds on Wattpad (https://www.wattpad.com/user/RosannaMI)! I’m releasing one chapter of each story per week, and I’m beyond excited about them!

The two stories are entirely different from each other, and I’m having a blast writing them! Please, follow me on Wattpad so you can get the updates in first hand! 😉

I’m also working non stop on the sequel of The Flower and The Suit, and I’m excited about how things are turning out for Sakura!

I’m not going to give anything away, but I am going to say that her life is going to change and so her friends around her.

I intend to publish it by the end of the year! 🙂

Books are my life! And my next post is going to be about stories that I’m reading and loving!

Stay tuned and have a great weekend!

Rosanna M.I.

World Order

World Order (http://worldorder.jp/) is one of my favourite bands of all time. It’s a 7-member Japanese band and its unique dancing style is the highlight.

The band was first formed in 2009 by Genki Sudo (須藤 元気 ), former fighter of UFC and current politician at the Japanese government.

In 2015, Genki Sudo resigned from World Order as a dance member, but still working with the band as the producer and director. He made a brief return as a dance member in 2018, but he completely stepped down as a member, producer and director in 2019, when he was elected into the Japanese House of Councillors.

The band keeps vigorously active with seven members:
Yusuke Morisawa (森澤 祐介), Hayato Uchiyama (内山 隼人), Akihiro Takahashi (高橋 昭博), Ryuta Tomita (富田 竜太), Takuro Kakefuda (掛札 拓郎), Keisuke Kimura (木村 圭佑) and Kosuke Shizunaga (静永 紘介).

They are always wearing suits and dancing in a robotic style. Their music videos as usually shot in the middle of the streets around the world.

Tell me what you think and what’s your favourite World Order song! 😉

Have a great week and see you soon!

Rosanna M.I.

Downright Delinquents

Hey, everyone!

Do you know that book that you can’t stop reading, and you end up finish reading it in one sitting?
So, I just finished reading one of those stories, and I have to tell you about it! 🙂

In one of my previous posts, I talked about the game Chapters (https://sakuraflower.blog/2019/07/25/chapters-interactive-stories/) and how much I love playing its stories. So, in the last few days, I’ve been playing more than usual, trying to catch up with all the stories that I let slip during the past months.

I first started playing Downright Delinquents because of the free diamonds that I’d earn at the end of the chapters, but when I finished playing the first chapter, I caught myself so excited and curious about the story that I just kept playing it nonstop.

I finished playing the 22 chapters in one day, and I felt so curious about the original story that I searched for it on the internet and found it on Wattpad (https://www.wattpad.com/story/1701184-downright-delinquents), the original story written by Lauren Jackson (https://www.wattpad.com/user/LaurenJ22).
I started reading the original story on Wattpad at 3 pm, and I finished reading it at 5:30 am. Yes, that’s true. I finished reading it in one sitting because it’s so amazing that I just couldn’t put it aside.

The story is about Hayley, a 17-year-old teenager who is sent to study at Downright High, a school for “problematic” teenagers. Drugs, alcohol, violence, bullying, sex, all of them make part of Downright High.
As a girl carrying a traumatic past inside her heart, Hayley sees herself among students that are so messed up as her. The story in the game is a little different from the one in the Wattpad. The one in the game is lighter but is as enjoyable reading as the original one.

Both of them focus on Hayley growing up and opening up to people that she would never think she’d call friends one day. Especially, Collin, the handsome boy with anger problems and that doesn’t date. It’s funny to see how Hayley and Collin fight all the time because they actually look alike.

I caught myself smiling, crying and shouting at the original story. It’s a little heavy and not so easy to read. The violence is constant, but at the same time, real love and feelings are also constant. It’s a beautiful contrast that keeps your heart at hand.

I recommend reading both of the stories. The one on Wattpad is complete and tells what happens with Hayley after she leaves the school. I’m not going to say much more because I don’t want to spoil it in case you decide to read it, which you definitely should do.

Thank you so much, Lauren Jackson, for writing such a fantastic story. I loved it, and I’m definitely going to reread it! 🙂

Do you have a favourite Wattpad story? If you do, please let me know! I’d love to read it! 😉

Have a fabulous Friday and see you soon!

Rosanna M.I.

The Sims 4 – Stuff Pack

Hey, everyone! So this is the last part of my The Sims 4 posts! If you haven’t read the part 1 (https://sakuraflower.blog/2019/08/25/the-sims-4-expansion-packs/) and part 2 https://sakuraflower.blog/2019/08/26/the-sims-4-game-packs/), please do! 😉
So I’m going to talk about The Sims 4 Stuff Packs and tell you what I think about each one of them!

The Sims 4 Luxury Party Stuff

It was released on May 19, 2015. This pack comes with new objects, clothing and pre-made rooms. The name says it all! This pack is all about luxury, with shinning clothing and fancy objects! It doesn’t make much difference on the gameplay, though! It’s not one of my favourites stuff packs, but it’s not the worst!

The Sims 4 Perfect Patio Stuff

It was released on June 16, 2015. It brings hot tubs, outdoor furniture, new clothing and one pre-made outdoor patio to the game. I actually like this stuff pack! Hot tubs are big deals for me, so I got very excited when this pack was released!

The Sims 4 Cool Kitchen Stuff

It was released on August 11, 2015 and it’s one of my favourites stuff packs. The thing that I like the most about this pack is that it brings ice cream maker to the gameplay! YES! Your sim can make delicious ice cream! I absolutely love it! There are a lot of flavors available according to your sim’s cooking skill, and each flavor causes a different side effect on the sim that eats it. Your sim can also choose to add strawberry, chocolate, coconut shaving, and a lot of other options! This pack also brings new clothing, new furniture for your kitchen and new pre-made rooms!

The Sims 4 Spooky Stuff

It was released on September 29, 2015. This pack is all about Halloween! It comes with new objects, new gameplay, new styled room and new objects. With this pack, your sim will be able to throw parties related to costumes and spooky things. This pack doesn’t make much difference to me, but I know a lot of people who can’t play the game without it!

The Sims 4 Movie Hangout Stuff

It was released on January 12, 2016 and it’s one of my favourites! I LOVE THIS STUFF PACK! It comes with projector screen where you can watch movies with your friends and family, popcorn popper, super cute new outfits and furniture! My sims can’t live without watching movies, so this pack is just perfect for them! It fulfils the fun and your sims can talk to each other, which also fulfils the social.

The Sims 4 Romantic Garden Stuff

It was released on February 9, 2016 and this also is one of my favourites. As an incurable romantic person, this pack made me scream of excitement when I first watched the trailer before its release. This pack comes with new gameplay features, new stunning flowers, objects and clothing. You can build a wonderful romantic garden for your sims, which includes the Whispering Wishing Well and water fountain! I love gardens, so this pack is perfect for me!

The Sims 4 Kids Room Stuff

It was released on June 28, 2016. It comes with new gameplay features, clothing and furniture. This pack is all about the kids, and I actually like it! The clothes are very cute and the furnitures are very useful! It certainly brings a lot of more fun to the gameplay if you enjoy playing with kids!

The Sims 4 Backyard Stuff

It was released on July 19, 2016 and it actually brings tons of fun to the game! It comes with new lawn water slides, new clothing and furnitures for your sim’s backyard. My favourite object of this pack is the bird feeder! It’s so cute! You can actually feed the birds with it! Just be careful to not be attacked by angry birds!

The Sims 4 Vintage Glamour Stuff

It was released on December 6, 2016. It comes with new furniture, clothing and the ability to hire a butler. The butler will do anything that you wish, from cooking your sim’s meals to fixing the objects. I particularly have never hired a butler in my game, but the idea is interesting for those who don’t like to do anything in the house.

The Sims 4 Bowling Night Stuff

It was released on March 29, 2017. With this pack, your sims will be able to go bowling and to have a lot of fun! You can also build your own bowling hangout with the new furniture and decoration that the pack brings into your game. There is also new clothing for your sims to go bowling in style!

The Sims 4 Fitness Stuff

It was released on June 20, 2017. This pack brings new work-out equipments like the climbing wall. It also brings new beautiful outfits and furnitures! I actually like this pack a lot! Especially the clothing! They are super fashion and beautiful! Even so, this pack doesn’t make much difference in the game if your sim is not a fan of exercising indoor and going to the gym!

The Sims 4 Toddler Stuff

It was released August 24, 2017. If you’re a fan of the toddler phase, then this stuff pack is perfect for you. It comes with playground and super cute outfits for your toddlers! You can also host play dates for your little ones! The playground has ball pit, slide and tunnels! This pack is very fun and enjoyable! Even though I’m not a big fan of the toddler phase, I can’t imagine my game without this pack!

The Sims 4 Laundry Day Stuff

It was released on January 16, 2018. I had never thought that I would say this, but this is by far my favourite stuff pack! This pack’s theme, content, icon and title were chosen by the players, and at first, I thought it was a waste of money, but when I saw the contents and played with them, I actually enjoyed them very much! All of my houses in the gameplay have the laundry area! The furniture and clothes that come with the pack are also lovely! I love the fact that you have the option to hang your sim’s wet clothes at the line to dry them under the sun! The washtub is also as fun as well, because your sim can add flower’s or food’s scent to the water!

The Sims 4 My First Pet Stuff

It was released on March 13, 2018 and it requires The Sims 4 Cats & Dogs expansion pack to work properly. I’m sorry to say this, but this is the stuff pack that I didn’t like the most. Even though it adds small pets to your household, like hamster or rat, I didn’t enjoy spending money on this pack. The only thing that I can say that I enjoy is the clothing for the cats and dogs. But that’s it!

The Sims 4 Moschino Stuff

It was released on August 13, 2019. I bought it last week and didn’t have time to explore this pack. But I do know that it adds a new career to the game, freelance fashion photographer and you can have your own studio. The pack also adds some new objects and new clothes to the game.

Well, that’s it! These are the stuff packs that were released so far! Let’s see what’s coming next for The Sims!
And if you’re a first time player and are wondering where can you get the games, you can always buy them directly through the Origin Platform, https://www.origin.com/. It’s very easy to purchase, pay and download the games through there! 😉

The Sims 4 is also available on X Box and Playstation 4! Check out the ea’s website for more information! https://www.ea.com/games/the-sims/the-sims-4

Tell me! Which expansion, game and stuff pack is your favourite one? I’d love to hear your opinion about them! 😉

Have a great week, simmers! And see you soon!

Rosanna M.I.

The Sims 4 – Game Packs

This post is the second part of The Sims 4 posts. The first one was about the expansion packs and contains the trailers of The Sims 1, The Sims 2, The Sims 3 and The Sims 4 as well. If you haven’t checked it out yet, please do! https://sakuraflower.blog/2019/08/25/the-sims-4-expansion-packs/

The game packs from The Sims 4 are between the expansion packs and stuff packs. Game packs have less content than expansion packs and more content than stuff pack. Until now, The Sims has seven game packs released, and the eighth is scheduled to be released on September 10.

The Sims 4 Outdoor Retreat

It was released on January 13, 2015 and it’s the first game pack of the franchise. It comes with a new destination for vacation, Granite Falls, and it offers camping options on the outdoor. It also includes the herbalism skill, which allows your sim to create potions. In my opinion, this game pack is useful if you like to camp and gather around the campfire. It’s not one of my favourites and I could see my gameplay without it.

The Sims 4 Spa Day

It was released on July 14, 2015. It includes the spa venue, the ability to receive and give massages and the wellness skill, which you can acquire through yoga and meditating. There isn’t much to say about this game pack. I actually like it a lot, even though it doesn’t offer many new contents and interactions.

The Sims 4 Dine Out

It was released on June 7, 2016 and it’s one of my favourites game packs so far. It comes with the options to dine, build and own restaurants. It’s really interesting to own your restaurant and manage it. You get to choose everything about it, like your chefs, staffs and menu’s contents. I actually find it a little challenging, because it’s difficult to please all the sims that dine in your restaurant. Your chef’s cooking skill must be high enough so she/he can cook meals with excellent quality. The new variety of food is also interesting, and I enjoy this game pack a lot! I can’t imagine my gameplay without it!

The Sims 4 Vampires

It was released on January 24, 2017. It comes with a new world, Forgotten Hollow and with the ability to become a vampire. The interesting thing about this game pack is that you can create your vampire while creating a sim, but you also get to create the human form of your vampire. Both forms are completely customizable. It’s actually very fun to be a vampire! It gives your sim supernatural abilities and the immortal life! Since I don’t care much about supernatural sims, this game pack doesn’t make difference in my gameplay, but it definitely adds a little bit of fun and different interactions.

The Sims 4 Parenthood

It was released on on May 30, 2017. it reminds me a lot of The Sims 3 Generations. On Parenthood, you get to develop your parenting skill, which allows your sim to discipline, encourage and teach life values to the toddlers, children and teenagers. There are tons of actions that influence the personality of your little sims. They can become responsible by washing the dishes after eating and brushing their tooth in the morning. They can control their mood by jogging when they are angry, or throwing a tantrum. This game pack adds a lot of fun in the gameplay, especially if you enjoy dealing with toddlers, children and teenagers. I think that the toddler phase is the most challenging one, because the toddlers can be very fussy and impolite. They are always hungry and need to have fun and social interactions with your sims. They require constant attention and they can be a pain in the ass sometimes! LOL

The Sims 4 Jungle Adventure

It was released on February 27, 2018 and it comes with a new destination for your sim’s vacation, Selvadorada. It also gives your sim the ability to develop the archaeology skill and explore the jungle. Selvadorada is actually a very beautiful and interesting destination. Even though it has been more than one year since its release, I still haven’t finished exploring everything that the game pack brings to the gameplay. It’s one of my favourites so far, and I love the fact that it comes with a whole new culture and food. It’s very fun and it reminds a little of The Sims 3 World Adventures.

The Sims 4 StrangerVille

It was released on February 26, 2019 and it comes with a new world, StrangerVille. The world has a dark secret and your sim is able to solve it. It also comes with the military career and new plants. I bought this game pack last week and I still haven’t had the time to explore and play with it. I’m not sure if it makes a lot of difference in the gameplay.

The Sims 4 Realms of Magic

It will be released on September 10, 2019 and it will come with a new world, Glimmerbrook. This game pack focus on the magic, which includes a new life state and spellcasters. It also comes with familiars, such as dragons and phoenixes. I’m actually very excited about this game pack! The Sims 3 Supernatural was one of my favourites on Sims 3, and I can’t wait to see what Realms of Magic is going to add in the gameplay! I love to deal with magic and spells! This game pack reminds me a little of Harry Potter! LOL

So these are the game packs that have been released so far! I can’t wait to see what’s coming next! 🙂

The next post will be the last one about The Sims 4, and I will talk about the stuff packs that were released! Stay tuned and see you soon!

Rosanna M.I.

The Sims 4 – Expansion Packs

The Sims has definitely been one of my favourite games since I was a teenager. I remember playing The Sims 1 after school, and my Mom would get mad at me because I should be studying instead of playing games.
I’m completely addicted to The Sims franchise. I played all the previous versions, The Sims 1, The Sims 2, The Sims 3 and now, I’m playing The Sims 4. My favourite between them is The Sims 4 (https://www.ea.com/games/the-sims/the-sims-4), even though it still doesn’t have many contents as The Sims 3, but it doesn’t freeze or shuts down the gameplay without saving it.

The Sims 3 is way too heavy for my iMac, and I’ve lost count of how many times I lost my savings because the game would freeze and shut down for no apparent reason.

The Sims 4 was released on September 2, 2014, and received a lot of criticism for its lack of contents. Since then, EA has released expansion packs, game packs and stuff packs that make the game much more enjoyable and fun!

In this post, I’m going to talk about the expansion packs! I have all of them so far, and even though they are a little bit expensive, they are worth it!

The Sims 4 Get to Work

It was released on March 31, 2015. It has three new active careers; Detective, Doctor and Scientist, and also allows Sims to own and manage their own retail businesses. The Doctor career is actually very fun! You get to go to the workplace with your Sim and you have to accomplish tasks so your Sim get to be promoted! I highly recommend this expansion pack!

The Sims 4 Get Together

It was released on December 8, 2015. It has a new world, Windenburg, and you can create and/or join clubs! You can also go the nightclubs and dance the whole night away! It’s actually very fun for those who enjoy social interactions! And the new world is very cute! I recommend this expansion pack if you like to spend time with other sims! The clubs gatherings are very fun if you get to spend time with your friends. The interesting thing about the clubs is that you get to choose the traits, the outfit and the pros and cons of your club, turning it much more interesting and defying!

The Sims 4 City Living

It was released November 1, 2016, and it comes with a new world, which includes apartments and penthouses. San Myshuno is a lovely world, and it has the Arts Quarter, the Spicy Market and the Fashion District. Each district hosts festival, like the Spicy Festival and the Romance Festival. This expansion also brings three new careers: Social Media, Politician and Food or Art Critic. City Living is not one of my favourite expansions, but I can’t imagine my game without it!

The Sims 4 Cats & Dogs

It was released November 10, 2017 and I literally screamed when I first saw the trailer. I had been waiting for this expansion since when The Sims 4 was released, and I must say that it was worth the wait. It comes with a new world, Brindleton Bay, and it introduces the Vet Clinic business. You can also adopt or create pets, such as dogs, cats, raccoons and foxes. The interactions with the pets are so cute and unique that every time that my sims play with their pets, I catch myself smiling from ear to ear. If you are an animal lover, you definitely need this expansion!

The Sims 4 Seasons

It was released on June 22, 2018 and I LOVE this expansion! It comes with weathers, seasons, temperatures, holidays, calendars, new careers and new skills! The gardening career is perfect for those who enjoy spending time outdoors and dealing with plants! Your sims can also create beautiful bouquets, and turn into a a floral designer or a botanist! You can also create and celebrate holidays, such as “Talk Like a Pirate Day” and “Love Day”. The interesting things about the weathers is that each world has a unique weather of their own. Like if it’s winter, Oasis Spring might be covered with snow, but Willow Creek might be hot. The interactions that come with Seasons are amazing! It’s definitely one of my favourite expansions so far and I utterly love it! Each season is unique! My favourite season is the winter, even though it’s freezing and my sim can’t fish because of the frozen rivers! I highly recommend this expansion if you’re looking for an amazing game with The Sims 4!

The Sims 4 Get Famous

It was released on November 16, 2018. It comes with a new World, Del Sol Valley, and the acting career. In the gameplay, your sim can earn fame points and become a celebrity, which offers a lot of useful perks. You can also record and edit videos and music, which also gives money and fame points. Even though I love this expansion, I was actually expecting for a lot more than it was initially released. When you reach the top of the acting career, it becomes a little boring and repetitive.

The Sims 4 Island Living

It was released on June 21, 2019 and it’s my favourite expansion so far. It reminds me a lot of The Sims 3: Island Paradise, because it also comes with mermaids and the ability to swim in the sea. Island Living comes with a new world, Sulani, and it’s so freaking beautiful that I don’t get tired of exploring it! It also comes with new career and part-time jobs, such as conservationist, lifeguard, diver and fisherman. In my opinion, the main con about Island Living when compared to Island Paradise, is that Island Living doesn’t freeze and the world works perfectly fine! On Sims 3, it was almost impossible to play Island Paradise without the game freezing or taking minutes and minutes to load the entire place. In fact, I had never seen or played with mermaids on Sims 3 because the graphics are so freaking heavy that my computer doesn’t work it. I got so excited when I watched the trailer of Island Living because I love to see my sims on the beach, swimming and having fun! I definitely recommend this expansion, because it’s the most fun and beautiful so far! I can’t wait to explore the whole world and all the new things that it offers!

Well, these are the expansions that were released so far, and in the next post, I’m going to talk about the game packs! 🙂 As a major The Sims fan, it’s been a pleasure to talk about it! Stay tuned to see more!

Have an amazing Sunday and see you soon with more The Sims!

Rosanna M.I.

Grandpa Kitchen

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 
― Mother Theresa

I love watching cooking videos on Youtube. I’m a terrible cooker, but I like to watch people cooking and eating.

One of my favourites cooking channels is Grandpa Kitchen. The channel was set up in 2017, and nowadays it has 5.6M of subscribers!


Grandpa is a 73-year-old man, whose name is Narayana Reddy and he is from Telangana, India.

The fantastic thing about his channel is that he cooks impressive meals for orphans and those in need in India!

At the beginning of each video, Grandpa says the beautiful statement “Loving, Caring, Sharing, This is my family”.

The channel has a patreon page where they collect donations to provide food and help for charities. Help such as clothes and school supplies.


If you would like to help the channel, but can’t become a patreon, you can always watch the videos and the ads! 😉

The faces of the children eating at the end of the videos are priceless!

I watch at least one of Grandpa’s videos every day! 🙂

Have a great week filled with love and peace!

Rosanna M.I.

Sweet Revenge/ Revenge Note/ 복수노트

Last week, I was watching some clips from Korean Dramas on Youtube (I’m not sure why) and one particular clip called my attention.

Sweet Revenge or Revenge Note is a Korean Drama about a 17-year-old schoolgirl.
Ho Goo-hee is a normal girl that faces her life-changing when she starts studying with Ji-hoon and Jung Deok-hee.
Ji-hoon is a handsome and famous boy. All the girls like him, but he’s indifferent and doesn’t care about his prominent status among the students. He sees himself getting closer to Ho Goo-hee when a series of events happen involving the two of them.

I got so hung up on this particular drama that I ended up buying the DVD through Amazon, since I didn’t find it anywhere on the streams services available here, in Japan.


Friends had always been my favourite series since I was a teenager. But after I finished watching Sweet Revenge, I changed my mind about it, and it became my number one series.
The plot is so cute, innocent even, but regarding serious and important issues about the school, such as bullying, first love and best friends, that it captured my heart and made me fall in love with it.
It got me wondering why I had never watched a Korean Drama before, and I regret not doing it earlier.

Sweet Revenge also has the special guest Cha Eun-woo, one of the members of the band Astro. He plays himself and is friends with Ho Goo-hee and her brother.
The drama was launched on October 27, 2017, and ended on January 5, 2018.
If you like Korean Dramas, love stories, comedy and friendship, I highly recommend Sweet Revenge. The name of the series is based on an app that Ho Goo-hee receives in her cellphone offering services to revenge people that have hurt her.

Even though the DVD wasn’t cheap, I don’t regret buying it at all. I loved the series, and I definitely will watch it again and again! 🙂

Have a great week and see you soon!

Rosanna M.I.

A Painful High School Memory

Living in a small town in Brazil, it wasn’t easy to be one of the few Asians of the city. Even though the kids in my school were respectful towards me, the kids from other schools weren’t.

When I was in high school, I used to go to school after lunch, from 12:30 pm until 5:30 pm, if I’m not mistaken. My house was far from it, so when the classes were over, I took the bus with my friends.

I remember HATING waiting for and taking the bus when it was full of kids from other schools because they used to say horrible things to me. They didn’t have filters inside their mouths, and they didn’t care if they were extremely rude and impolite with me. I remember arriving at my house, locking myself inside my bedroom and crying. I hated being a Brazilian-Asian.

There is a particular day that I have never forgotten. I’m not sure why. I remember being at the bus stop with my friends after school, waiting for the bus. There were other people around us, including an older man. I believe he was more than 70 years old, and he was sitting alone. One bus full of kids from a different school stopped in front of the bus stop where I was at, and the kids inside of it started shouting and screaming horrible things to me. Words like “you are an ugly Japanese”, “open your eyes or you’d rather keep them close because you are too ugly”, “go back to Japan, you ugly Japanese”, things like that. The whole bus was saying those things to me, and my friends and everybody around me were quiet, watching them and listening to them, while I was almost crying. NOBODY said anything to defend me. There were adults behind me, including the older man, but they just kept staring at me, like they were mocking me as if they agreed with what those horrible kids were saying to me. I remember getting so mad that I shouted to the kids to fuck them off. At the second that I did it, the older man stood up and shouted at me, telling me to shut up, that my Mom didn’t educate me, that I was a terrible person for saying those words. I got so stunned at his behaviour towards me that I just kept staring at him, thinking if I was really wrong for defending myself. I felt like asking him why he was scolding me, but I didn’t because my parents always taught me to respect the elderly. But I spent years thinking about that older man, about the way he shouted at me, telling me to shut up. I kept asking myself why he didn’t tell those kids to stop bullying me, because I was quiet in my corner, just listening to them until something inside of me snapped.

Today, I understand that those kids were behaving that way because nobody told them that it was not okay to say those things and treat people that way. I finally realized that I was different inside that small city, and that was enough to make me a target.

I don’t know what happened to the older man afterwards, because I chose to ignore him and ignore his words. I was defending myself, and I don’t regret it. I had never told anybody about this episode, until today.

Every time that I go back to Brazil and I’m walking in the street with buses and kids inside them, I flinch and try to hide myself. I avoid them at all costs. I avoid being near children and teenagers that I don’t know because of those hurtful memories that still hunt me.

I believe that nowadays, the kids understand that everybody deserves respect, at least in the city that I was born and grew up in. I believe that parents are teaching their kids that words can hurt and can mark people for the rest of their lives.

I’m not a broken woman because of what those kids used to shout at me, but I do admit that I have scars and memories that will never leave me.

Each and every person has a soul, has a heart. Words can hurt much more than we can imagine, so it’s our responsibility to teach our children about respect and unconditional love towards other people, no matter the colour of the skin, the nationality, the differences.
I wish that the older man would have protected me instead of telling me to shut up. Maybe I would have one less scar inside my soul and plus one good memory inside my heart.

Rosanna M.I.

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